I feel I need to clarify a few things to certain sections of the Internet Radio crowd who think I’m mentally unbalanced.
“No No No! I just happen to suffer from depression and anxiety”
It would appear stigma against people with mental health problems is rife in the world of Internet radio.
“Pathetic isn’t it?”
I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for a long time now. Which all stems from the loss of my Mother when I was 7 (1980)
It doesn’t seem to have mattered how many “psychologists” they’ve thrown at the problem over the years nothing changes. Doctors don’t tend to listen either.
My anxiety has really been an issue when I’ve been up in front of a large crowd. I’ve suffered “stagefright” on more than one occasion.
(It can happen to anyone)
The first real recollection of my anxiety ruling my life was when I was 15 & I was supposed to be doing a DJ gig.
Someone had arranged for me to DJ at a party, But when it came time to go and perform infront of a crowd I froze. Later ended up curled in a ball on my bed.
I got abuse a few days later from the DJ who had arranged the party for “showing him up”
Which in turn made me beat myself up for it, Yet it was something I wasn’t able to control.
Another occasion my anxiety got in the way of my DJ work was in a nightclub where I’d been invited up to spin a few tunes.
The second I got into the DJ booth my brain and body froze and I had a minor panic attack ended up running away from the venue.
Anxiety has pretty much ruled my life now for over 36 years. I have bad days and good days, It’s part of who I am and I couldn’t change it even if I could.
I’m on tablets (beta blockers) these days but there are still days where my anxiety can rear its ugly head.
“Please don’t JUDGE me for something I’m unable to control, I never wanted to be anxious and depressed it rules my life daily”
Stigma against people with “mental health issues” really gets my back up.
“If you have a problem with me and my mental health “issues” then I’m afraid that is YOUR problem NOT mine”
Last updated on: 25th July 2018
at 10:11 AM Europe/London